My High

#32: Reach Higher

Two weeks ago, our brand team was able to accomplish an amazing feat. We beat one of our targets by delivering 3 months ahead of schedule. Congratulatory emails flying around. I shot one at the member directly responsible for this. (Of course, cross-copying her functional boss from the region.) The equally elated boss sends back a celebratory message.... and a song. Yep. You heard me. A message... and a song. With bloody lyrics. I almost fell out of my chair in laughter.

"To inspire you to reach greater heights," he said. And I had to squeeze my neck to cut out the blood flow and stop the hysterics. A song by Gloria Estefan too! I felt like doing the Congga.

When I finally collected myself, I played the song and went over the lyrics carefully... soberly...

Some dreams live on in time forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart
And I'll do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
I'm gonna be stronger
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So I'll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe
All the more that this dream will be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
I'm gonna be stronger
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
I'm gonna be stronger
From that one moment in my life
I'm gonna be so much stronger yes I am
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to the test
If I could reach higher
If I could, If I could
If I could reach
Reach, I'd reach, I'd reach
I'd reach' I'd reach so much higher
Be stronger

I swallowed hard to keep the tears back. They managed to make it to the corners of my eyes. Call me nuts. Maybe I am. I've been wanting something so badly that standing on the brink of achieving it floods me with countless emotions I can't even untangle and distinguish. I can only choose to tear myself from them lest I descend into obsession and just place my hopes and dreams before my God with confident desperation. He will know what to do with them. And I, with much sobriety, will just trust.

Manic Monday

#31: Mondays Should be Banned

Woke up earlier than usual this morning. It's part of this thing I go through every week wherein I tell myself each Sunday that I should really shape up and start arriving at work at more decent times starting "tomorrow."

So I really set out to go to work early today. Thing is, I woke up so disoriented, I couldn't form any Monday fashion concept whatsoever. My closet couldn't give me any spark of inspiration. It just stood there with a blank face waiting for me to make a decision. "Wear something... anything! Just get it over with and leave!" Nah. No one should greet Mondays looking like her secretary personally dragged her out of bed.

I tossed another pair of pants on my bed. Nothing is working. All my clothes are aligning with my brain: NOT WORKING. I sighed heavily as I reached out for my black "safe" pants. Uninspired, yes, but that's the only way I was going to get out of this house before 12 noon. White button-down long sleeves. Blah. Why do Mondays kill creativity?

As a last attempt to make myself look a bit more like "Gucci Stardust" today than "Mr. Peter Li Chinese Delivery (which, by the way, already moved from BF to Sucat Main Road), I went over to my dad's closet and grabbed a tie. Ah yes. When in doubt, wear a tie.

Some women look at men and ask, "How silly is it to start your day by tying a noose around your neck?" I say, sometimes, it's the only way to get through Monday.

Lazy Daisy

#30: Driving Miss Daisy... Crazy

Here's my attempt at being non-lazy. (It's so hard to find the time to update this blog especially when I can think of a hundred other things I SHOULD be doing in real life instead of just gluing my face to the PC writing about... err... life. Plus, my reading list is getting longer by the minute - yes, I buy books faster than I can finish them. I blame Amazon and Fully-Booked. I hope I am nowhere close to being an obsessive compulsive shopper. That feature on Shopology in Discovery Channel the other night made me assess my buying habits seriously. Pink cards and red tags affect me. Yes, I am all-marketer, all-consumer. How ironic is that?

Anyway, since there seems to be no point anywhere in this blog, let me start pulling out my bullets. (Ask any business student/corporate rat. Bullets are our best friends.) And so here's the week in bullets:

> Watched a cheeseball teen flick with my good friend Cathy. Three good things about it:
1. Chad Michael Murray.
2. "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" (Did I even quote that correctly?)
3. Mindlessly eating junkfood while watching!

> Stressed over my media presentation to this consultant from Fairbrother, London who has a reputation for including nasty comments about you in his report if he thinks you're not good enough.

> Received this wonderful assurance from the Lord that He will establish and protect me (Thanks to Charles Haddon Spurgeon's exhortation on the Cedars of Lebanon, Aug 12 entry, "Morning by Morning.")

> Had this 4-hour dinner with my awesome friend Elna. (I think girls can yak forever.)

> Interestingly got a text message from Cyrano de Bergerac after years(?) of silence.
"How are you dear stranger?" he asked and I remembered the time I used to answer messages like those with something silly like, "Sightseeing around Italy in my pajamas." When he texted, I was actually wolfing down a large slice of pizza and I'll actually be flying to Italy next month. Now all that's missing are my PJs.

> A more interesting thing: Got an email from this stranger I met at the airport in Bangkok last year. It just hit him that, hey, "I haven't been emailing Ms. Stardust for quite a while. Let me drop her a note and update her on life here at Tel Aviv." (Crazy idea: You think he'd be offended if I asked him if he had actually already seen buses blow up? You think he'll ask me if I've actually encountered real Abu Sayyaf members just to get back at me?)

> Scared the life out of my boss when I hid inside Global Cafe's dark restroom and jumped at her as she was stepping in. She screamed then her face lost all blood. I thought she was going to topple over. (Good thing she didn't because that would definitely appear in my next performance evaluation. And yes, in case you're wondering, I am admittedly just a kid in a powersuit.) She was pale until the following day.

> Aced the media presentation! (Praise God!) How does "Spectacular" sound? (This coming from a supposedly nasty Brit. Think Simon of American Idol). If it sounds as good to you as it does to me then that definitely calls for a "dance of joy!" Please set up the bonfire and get the drums beating while I look for my grass skirt and spear.

> Heard that our next Asian Regional Meeting might be in Maldives! (Grandezza! Cross your fingers with me, please.)

> Went shopping with my favorite shopping partner, Rachel. Ended up with a bag full of office supplies (legit stuff, okay? We didn't go shopping at our office's storage room. Haha.) and another bag full of not-really-necessary personal care stuff from Watsons. (Come on. We went in to do "trade check." Then we observed the influence of packaging and new SKUs on silly stressed out consumers with nothing better to do on a Friday night than shop. Conclusion: They end up leaving Watsons with a bag of not-so-necessary personal care stuff, hence packaging is key and new variant introductions work. Harhar.)

> Attended this full day teaching on the correlation between Worship and Service. The teaching really cuts to the heart. (The quality of your life worship and service is a function of your love for your God. If your service is lousy, then most likely, it's because you're not in love with God. Loving is different from being in love.) I'm still bleeding up to now. Bleeding but definitely blessed.

---------------

That's it. It's late... I still have to wake up early tomorrow for our church service... plus, I need to try my new shower gel (part of the Watsons loot) before I hit the sack. Bubbles... fluffy pillows... cold room.... nice!


But oh, what a pointless blog. No theme. No realizations. Just a lazy rundown of events in the past. Darn. And to think my point in blogging tonight was to be non-lazy... Zzzzzzz...

This Woman's Work

#29: My Thoughts on Her Journal

Ruth Benedict, one of the first women to attain recognition as a major social scientist, wrote in her journal in 1912:

"To me it seems a very terrible thing to be a woman. There is one crown which perhaps is worth it all - a great love, a quiet home, and children. We all know that this is all that is worthwhile, and we must peg away, showing off our wares if we have money, or manufacturing careers for ourselves if we haven't. We have not the motive to prepare ourselves for a 'lifework' of teaching, of social work - we know that we would lay it down with hallelujah in the height of our success, to make a home for the right man. And all the time in the background of our consciousness rings the warning that perhaps the right man will never come. A great love is given to very few. Perhaps this makeshift time-filler of a job is our lifework after all."

A Breath Away 

I Know You

#28: Amalgam

You are rain's smile; the flood of dew before nightfall.
Your eyes are still able to draw me, drown me.
I drink of you and I taste glass.
You are the mango in my tea; the cinammon in my chai.
I remember when you said I smelled of apple butter...
That was under the sky made of yam.
You are the hushed conversations under the blanket of stars
The velvet sand beneath my feet, the lights on the beach.
You are the walks in the park and the sound of sax in the subway.
You are the "hi" at the dance floor and at the airport, my farewell.
You are the petals kept and the pictures hidden.
You are the string of words in books you've given.
You are the verses, the gentle words, the soft whispers of strength.
Your prayers will always move me as they move earth and heaven.
You are the heartbeat of one who walks with God.
The faith that compels mountains to fall.
The face of flint unperturbed.
The steady hand.
You are the skyscrapers and the archways and the bridges in my head.
You are the keystrokes on my fingertips; the phonelines that still burn.
You are the notes of forgotten songs; the strumming of present silence.
You are the cool on a sweltering day.
The heated discussion on a chilly night.
The grin at the end of it all.
You are the dry humor that kills me; the laughter that comes alive.
You are the depths of the tortured genius,
The humbling stroke of a master's hand.
You are the quiet breaking, the powerful restraint.
Reality's dream.
Hope's stake.

Top of The World (Tops, Cebu June 2004)